The Day Out

We arrange to meet at 2:30 yesterday for a late lunch. We went out to a nice restaurant which I had not been to before. I had some things that I needed to talk to my sweetie about. He ordered me a drink and was just really nice. The connection that I have with him is amazing, it’s actual chemistry its really nice to just talk to someone who is really nice and understands everything you are saying.

We talked about my marriage and how unhappy I am. We both know how what I need to do with my marriage, I need to end it. He said that I need to make a decision about things, I know he’s right. I’m going to give my marriage a few more months and see if things work out before I make a decision to file for divorce.

Yesterday I told him all sorts I don’t know if it was the beer or it was just the relaxed laid back environment that we were in. I do tend to be freer with my words when I drink than if I don’t though.  We talked about sex, and the lack of intimacy in my marriage, we talked about everything it was very nice. He felt terribly bad for me and knew how I felt.

We also talked about our relationship and how we had so much chemistry with each other. I asked him why he had to sit on his hands, he said that he would be all over me if he did not. I just laughed at him told him not to worry about it. If something happens it happens, so be it. He knows I will let him do anything, he knows that if he was to start he would not be able to stop and neither would I. We both have made a decision to not have sexual relations yet. But we both really want it, the tension between us is horrendous. When I speak with him there is no one else in the room, only the two of us it’s amazing.  Many people have commented on how good we are together how we appear to be a couple.

I got a great compliment from him, he said that I appeared to be getting younger over the last few months. I think its the lack of stress, someone to talk to, someone who makes me feel very good. I think the chemistry makes me feel so much better and younger.

I told him that I could not see him on Thursday, that my clinics were too busy. This week has been very hard, I have seen him every day which makes me miss him even more. We agreed to go out once per month, to make an effort to just see each other outside of work.  Till later…. thanks for reading this!! I hope everyone enjoys my experiences!!


Fun Monday

Monday was fun, we had a two hour lunch and flirted with each other like mad. The sexual innuendos were flowing from our mouths like there was no tomorrow it was really, really fun and a massive turn on. Since I’m pretty much out of the game, I don’t quite get all the cues from him, he invited me to take a taste of his lunch he tried to feed it to me, I picked it up with my fingers, lol I’m a nutter. I teased him with my perfume, he said it smelled nice. Never flirted so much with a man in my entire life. I really just want him, he makes me so hot. I know I make him hot. I’m going to keep trying. I love being his best friend I love how sexy I feel with him, and how amazing he makes me feel. I love how he’s so honest with me and tells me the truth and acts like a 5 year old. Normally these things would drive me nuts but with him he’s different someone special. I can’t even begin to explain how I know he’s the one.

Two hour Email Sex Messages

There is nothing more entertaining than being at work and getting sexy Double-entendre” messages from a guy who is quick whited and fun.I’m hot thinking about them, I can’t believe he left me in this state. I would love to know what he’s up to and why he’s playing with me this way. He has slowly worked his way to these types of messages and today 2 hours of playing made me so horny. If I could go and see him now, I would so jump him. I have warned him that pay back is a bitch so he better watch out.

I am an emotional sl**t

I’m an emotional slut, I love the feelings that I get when I think of him and when I’m with him.  The love the thoughts that flow through my mind and the feelings that my body gets when I imagine him with me.  These feelings also applies to the crush, the feelings and love that I get from being wanted, being cared for. For me, it is truly an emotional orgasm.When I look into his eyes, they are like pools that you want to drown yourself in.  I want him so bad….

My Holiday Goal

My holiday goal. Torment him, don’t send out one message at all. This is my seduction technique leave him hanging wanting just a little bit more.  It will probably kill me since I love to spam him with messages, since he writes me back the most sensual and warm messages ever.  I will not send out one message till I get a reply from him on Wednesday next week.

I WILL NOT SENT ONE MESSAGE I want to totally seduce him. I had left him with a message saying “I can always restore your natural color and self in many imaginative ways if you like… you have a great weekend. “ He told me that I refresh him, make his day better bring him back to life so to say. Well if he wants brining back to life I can wake up a few things.

As for today, I don’t know what to say.I spent 1 hour with him, that’s all. It was very hard, I miss him a lot.

I have this up most dying feeling inside me where I want to take him and drop him to the table and do him.  But, that probably won’t work.

I just want him to hold me, I don’t want anything else.

Have you eve felt so safe around someone and so happy that even just the thought of holding you, or touching you made your skin tingle? That’s how I feel all the time only more…

Even just getting his email makes me hot. I have never had a man make me so hot in my entire life. I have never had a man stay with me this long before. I can feel his touch even when he is not around me.

Now it’s my turn, I know I’m in his head. I know he can’t stop thinking about me. He hugs me very tight and pulls me into him. I smell him on my clothes so much that I want to sleep holding my top. Now that’s pathetic, I know….

Your a aglow, like a good angel

It was a long week this last week so I do apologizes for not writing anything here. After my friend was diagnosed with the big C and my other friend had problems at home I pretty much gave up and went into a depression. Friday was the last straw, I pretty much was at my whits end when I wrote Mr. Wonderful and said to him that I was really down and needed someone to talk to as soon as possible. Being as sweet as he is he saw me and explained that his week was psychotic and he had so much stuff on.  He went to to tell me how he felt physically nauseas from the stress and anxiety that he was feeling. He offered me a drink, I had to turn him down, but he kept pressing me saying what about lunch today? I agreed to that.

12:00 rolled around and I met him at the main reception for the first time he was on time and I was late. He must have been milling around for quite some time because he ended up talking to my manager about work. Five minutes later she finally left, thank god at least she’s out of the way.

He was amazing, he was cuddly and close, sweet and innocent. We went outside and ate our lunch under the shade of a big beautiful tree where we talked about poetry and pretty much everything. I shared my life with him and he just listened and hung on every word. We decided to get up and go for a walk.  He said have you ever been in that cemetery across the road? No, but I walk by it all the time I replied. This is one of the oldest cemeteries in the city the graves go back to the I think the 1800’s maybe earlier.  There is nothing creepy about it, it’s just a quite little place.Most people would think that I  was weird going somewhere like that but it was actually quite educational… seriously.

The second we walked in there was this feeling of oh my god what do I do with him now were alone? I had never really been alone with him this was the first time.  It was like the world stopped around us and suddenly and everything was quiet.  There was no one else there but the two of us.  I could feel the awkward sexual tension built up between us again but this time it was not scary and unfamiliar it was more of a how do I deal with these feelings?  I decided the best thing to do was to stand back from him so I did not end up doing something I would regret. He appeared to do the same as well. So I kept my distance, and thought let’s build on this and see where it goes.  We talked about everything I pretty much rambled and he just listened. I thought for sure that I was talking out my ass but I think he really enjoyed my stories.  I was told off for talking down about myself, I talked to him about that.  I explained to him that I felt that I had lost my identity and that I have had to change who I really am to fit into the culture of the country I had moved to. Mr. Wonderful said he knew how I felt and that he felt the same.

For over a week now we have been sharing poetry, E.E., Cummings, Yates, Blake, Dylan, etc., it’s a real turn on to talk to someone who understands poetry. I know a lot of you women out there think that guys who read poetry to you, or for that matter write poetry for you, or  talk about history etc, art, culture etc.., are nerds, or looser. Well your all way wrong, there are some amazing romantic men out there who grab you by the heart strings and pull you in one little bit at a time.  This is what he’s doing to me. He’s courting me pulling me in one little bit at a time and quite frankly it’s working.

I love the fact that he sends me beautiful poems.  The poems are about how he’s feeling that day and how he feels about me.

We both wanted to go to the seaside; he said to me that he would talk the rest of the day off if he could however he had a meeting that he had to attend. I will work on this one….

As we started walking back to work Mr. Wonderful turned and looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes and said he really enjoyed spending time with me today, that he had missed me.  The butterflies returned, I suddenly grew an even more deep love for him. I gave him a little rub on his back, and said me to as I flashed my baby blues at him, while biting my lip.  The smile that I got back signified that he enjoyed my flirt.

When we got back to work, I went up to his floor and we stood there and chatted for a minute. Instead of the one arm hug that I normally get I got a full two arm hug with a great little back rub. He held his head up against my shoulder and hugged me tight while pulling me closer to him. That hug left me with a warm feeling which I can’t shake. The butterflies have returned, never thought that they would. I love that feeling which has stayed with me all day.

When I got back to my office there was a message for me, it was from him so I replied back. About an hour later, there was another message from him. He said he so enjoyed talking to me and that I was such a breath of fresh air, that it was so good spending time with me today. He then went on to tell me something had stayed with him all through the day. He said the way the light hit my hair and made it glow which made me look like a good angel. This made my heart melt. This was sweet… normal men don’t say this kind of stuff…

This is my soul mate, I know this. Some don’t believe in soul mates but I do. This guy gets every single thing that I say, he has the same passions, the same desires and the same feelings on life that I do. I can feel him when he’s not there, I can feel that he needs me or wants to talk to me. I know he’s thinking about me or that he’s longing to be next to me. These weekends are torture, I can’t stand them. I long to be near him, so he can hold me and comfort me. I long to listen to his voice and just be near him. I long to look into his eyes and flirt with him. I want to feel him touch me, hold me and kiss me.

We will see each other again on Monday, no pressure nothing I will not open my big mouth and tell him how much I want to be near him or anything. I will just let nature take its course. I want to listen to him read poetry to me…. I can’t think of anything more romantic and sweet…

So till Monday… at least I have a smile on my face!

Who me irrational?

Today has been an utter crap day. No lunch, messages consisted of two word answers not the normal poetry and insightful words of wisdom. I want to say fuck him but I haven’t I want to say, fuck you….what is wrong with you? I thought that things were not good between us so I asked. Pretty much just got told to chill out and be cool…what does that me? Sure be cool??? What sure I’m a crazy lady with crazy ideas? Or sure things are cool between us? Ahhhhhh this is b.s., teenager crap, not adult 39 and a 44 year old crap. He’s got a sick member of the family; really sick things are touch and go. It’s not good I hope she does not die that would be horrible. I feel sorry for him. Maybe it’s guilt? Maybe it’s the feeling that if he talks to me then something bad will happen. I don’t know. It’s all irrational feelings that I can’t control. It’s anger from my friend it’s anger at the entire world really.

Oh well, I will just sulk all week, at least I have lots of work to do!! That will at best keep me entertained.

Social Networking is a pain…

I fucking hate social networking it opens you up to feelings of resentment to people that you love and care about. Social networking is one of the most annoying things that has ever been invented. It’s fucking useless. Who cares if Fred has just gone to the toilet and is now stopping by Taco Bell for a tasty taco? Why do I need to know the blow by blow of your daily life including your toilet habits? Its also annoying because if you chat with someone on facebook and they ignore you it makes you feel like they don’t like you.

Recently I had a friend who said to me don’t you dare reject my friendship on facebook. I just looked at her and laughed. Why would I first of all? First of all some people are really nasty and can’t be nice to someone even if they tried they will be their facebook friend and not be their real life friend. I hate these type of people they are fake and just add you as a friend to say hey look I have 1,000 friends. Now if you were to really delve deeper into that person’s “friends” they would have 999 random friends and one person that they work with. This is why facebook is fucking stupid. It proves nothing.

It proves you are popular on line yeah… but in real life you suck.  People stop getting so bent out of shape about facebook it’s stupid and pointless.

Maybe I should take my own advice!?!


Can you really love two people at the same time?

Having an emotional affair with someone is hard work but it’s very exciting. You never know what is around the corner next. The words, feelings and emotions are better than sex. I was reading an article today where it stated that men find physical cheating more destructive than emotional cheating, where as women find emotional cheating worse than physical. I’m with these women I agree with that the emotional connection is far worse than the physical connection. When you start to check out of your marriage and have that emotional connection with someone other than your husband you know it’s over with. However, a sexual affair a pure physical affair is nothing more than sex there is no connection other than the physical. I can see why men would think that is worse because it’s rare to find a man who has a deep emotional attraction to you someone you can share you hopes and dreams with without fear of judgment. That’s how I feel with this man, I feel no judgment, no pain, no anger just hope and love. I love to look into his beautiful brown eyes and listen to his kind words of encouragement and hope.

These feelings stay with me day in and day out. I can feel his presence when he’s not there, I can lay down and feel his body next to mine all I have to do is close my eyes. I want to be with him but I would rather have him next to me, I long for that cuddle, a warm hand, and a soft place to lay my head.

A very good friend of mine said imagine what the sex would be like with him? A meeting of the mind would make for some incredible sex she said, can you imagine how intense it would be?  This level of emotional boding is rare, she said you are lucky to have someone who can be as supportive, caring and kind to you. A lot of men will not commit like that.  Go out and get some! LOL.

I want to go out and get some but I also want to take this very, very slow. I don’t want to hurt anyone at all. Ultimately everyone who sees us together knows where this is heading, we both know that this is going to end up as a physical and emotional affair that neither one of us could turn back on. I just do not want to rush it. Things are moving in a different direction where the feelings for each other are growing stronger. I want to cherish this while I can and do this right so I don’t fuck it up. I’m good at fucking things up.

Lets see if I can remember to go to work on Monday, ROFL!! That would be the first step in NOT fucking things up!!

Longing for a cuddle….

It’s the weekend it’s the hardest part of the week for me. It means that I have two days without Mr. Wonderful. Today I had a chat with a friend of mine. She told me to get him alone in a room otherwise nothing will happen. He needs to see you as a sexy, desirable woman that he can’t keep his hands off.

Oh believe me I would in a second, just where do I take him under the stairs? A cupboard, broom closet? What? I could try to drag him away take him to a bar and seduce him but I’m already doing the seductress routine which seems to be working.

I want to hold his hand, and cuddle up next to him and listen to his heart beat while watching the world go by. I long for his touch, a cuddle, a warm smile someone to take the pain away.

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

By E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)