It was a long week this last week so I do apologizes for not writing anything here. After my friend was diagnosed with the big C and my other friend had problems at home I pretty much gave up and went into a depression. Friday was the last straw, I pretty much was at my whits end when I wrote Mr. Wonderful and said to him that I was really down and needed someone to talk to as soon as possible. Being as sweet as he is he saw me and explained that his week was psychotic and he had so much stuff on. He went to to tell me how he felt physically nauseas from the stress and anxiety that he was feeling. He offered me a drink, I had to turn him down, but he kept pressing me saying what about lunch today? I agreed to that.
12:00 rolled around and I met him at the main reception for the first time he was on time and I was late. He must have been milling around for quite some time because he ended up talking to my manager about work. Five minutes later she finally left, thank god at least she’s out of the way.
He was amazing, he was cuddly and close, sweet and innocent. We went outside and ate our lunch under the shade of a big beautiful tree where we talked about poetry and pretty much everything. I shared my life with him and he just listened and hung on every word. We decided to get up and go for a walk. He said have you ever been in that cemetery across the road? No, but I walk by it all the time I replied. This is one of the oldest cemeteries in the city the graves go back to the I think the 1800’s maybe earlier. There is nothing creepy about it, it’s just a quite little place.Most people would think that I was weird going somewhere like that but it was actually quite educational… seriously.
The second we walked in there was this feeling of oh my god what do I do with him now were alone? I had never really been alone with him this was the first time. It was like the world stopped around us and suddenly and everything was quiet. There was no one else there but the two of us. I could feel the awkward sexual tension built up between us again but this time it was not scary and unfamiliar it was more of a how do I deal with these feelings? I decided the best thing to do was to stand back from him so I did not end up doing something I would regret. He appeared to do the same as well. So I kept my distance, and thought let’s build on this and see where it goes. We talked about everything I pretty much rambled and he just listened. I thought for sure that I was talking out my ass but I think he really enjoyed my stories. I was told off for talking down about myself, I talked to him about that. I explained to him that I felt that I had lost my identity and that I have had to change who I really am to fit into the culture of the country I had moved to. Mr. Wonderful said he knew how I felt and that he felt the same.
For over a week now we have been sharing poetry, E.E., Cummings, Yates, Blake, Dylan, etc., it’s a real turn on to talk to someone who understands poetry. I know a lot of you women out there think that guys who read poetry to you, or for that matter write poetry for you, or talk about history etc, art, culture etc.., are nerds, or looser. Well your all way wrong, there are some amazing romantic men out there who grab you by the heart strings and pull you in one little bit at a time. This is what he’s doing to me. He’s courting me pulling me in one little bit at a time and quite frankly it’s working.
I love the fact that he sends me beautiful poems. The poems are about how he’s feeling that day and how he feels about me.
We both wanted to go to the seaside; he said to me that he would talk the rest of the day off if he could however he had a meeting that he had to attend. I will work on this one….
As we started walking back to work Mr. Wonderful turned and looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes and said he really enjoyed spending time with me today, that he had missed me. The butterflies returned, I suddenly grew an even more deep love for him. I gave him a little rub on his back, and said me to as I flashed my baby blues at him, while biting my lip. The smile that I got back signified that he enjoyed my flirt.
When we got back to work, I went up to his floor and we stood there and chatted for a minute. Instead of the one arm hug that I normally get I got a full two arm hug with a great little back rub. He held his head up against my shoulder and hugged me tight while pulling me closer to him. That hug left me with a warm feeling which I can’t shake. The butterflies have returned, never thought that they would. I love that feeling which has stayed with me all day.
When I got back to my office there was a message for me, it was from him so I replied back. About an hour later, there was another message from him. He said he so enjoyed talking to me and that I was such a breath of fresh air, that it was so good spending time with me today. He then went on to tell me something had stayed with him all through the day. He said the way the light hit my hair and made it glow which made me look like a good angel. This made my heart melt. This was sweet… normal men don’t say this kind of stuff…
This is my soul mate, I know this. Some don’t believe in soul mates but I do. This guy gets every single thing that I say, he has the same passions, the same desires and the same feelings on life that I do. I can feel him when he’s not there, I can feel that he needs me or wants to talk to me. I know he’s thinking about me or that he’s longing to be next to me. These weekends are torture, I can’t stand them. I long to be near him, so he can hold me and comfort me. I long to listen to his voice and just be near him. I long to look into his eyes and flirt with him. I want to feel him touch me, hold me and kiss me.
We will see each other again on Monday, no pressure nothing I will not open my big mouth and tell him how much I want to be near him or anything. I will just let nature take its course. I want to listen to him read poetry to me…. I can’t think of anything more romantic and sweet…
So till Monday… at least I have a smile on my face!